A Story of Abuse and Trust
by xXNikoletta BlackXx
Summary: Severus Snape has a rough childhood. His mother neglects him and his sister, where he wished his father would just leave them alone. He tries to woo Lily but is rejected. This is his story of learning to trust after spending his life in pain.
1. Whiskey and Chemistry

A Story of Abuse and Trust

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Some of the memories of Lily are borrowed from Deathly Hallows and are copyrighted to J.K.R. I do not own them and I do not make any money from them. I also do not live in a castle in Scotland. I did not invent the world of Harry Potter, though if J.K.R. had not I do not think anyone would have.

WARNING: There are scenes of abuse and self-mutilation in this story; mild language also. This is the reason for the T rating, along with other things that may occur in this story. I may or may not make this story into a series, given the length and the time it would take.

On with the story!

A Story of Abuse and Trust

By Grimreaperprincess666

Read and review

Chapter one: Whiskey and Chemistry

If you were to stand on Spinner's End, you would notice nothing out of the ordinary. It was a rather dismal place. If you asked anyone, they all would tell you the same thing. Nobody was fond of going to Spinner's End in particularly.

It put the town into a panic when the family that lived there would come into town. They did not call on the town that often, not at all in fact until Tobias Snape ran out of booze or if Eileen needed something.

They did not much mind Eileen. The town's folk had a quandary with Tobias though. He was a wicked grubby man in every way. Some nights you could find the town's folk in the local pub, tittle-tattling away about him. They all loathed him with fervor. As much as the towns' folk talked about this family, they were petrified to death of them. Peculiar things trailed them everywhere they went. No one could elucidate this bizarre phenomenon.

They hardly ever saw the two children. Occasionally, they would see the two sitting under trees in the local park reading some strange book about chemistry.

There was an undersized girl by the name of Sapphira Snape. She had lengthy, gangly, black hair and surprisingly lifeless black eyes. Sapphira was far too skeletal for a girl of seven, but no one pressed the matter.

Aside from the other three, there was a youthful boy also. He went by the name of Severus Snape. He was lofty, yet lanky, and had inherited his mother's hair, as had his sister. It had grown over the years as he refused, flat out, to cut it. It had grown to the point of touching his shoulder blades. His eyes were not yet as inert as his younger sister's were but they were well on their way.

Severus had resorted to escaping the house whenever he could. By the time his eleventh birthday approached, he only ever came back into the house for the sporadic meal and from time to time, he returned to sleep in his bed. Severus hated his family. His father was a hollow, abusive, no-good, scrounger. His mother was just a pathetic, cowardly whelp that let her husband have his way with whatever it was he wanted.

Tonight, however, was different. Tobias had enough alcohol and Eileen needed nothing; except a savior to herself and her children.

Eileen stood in her bedroom, watching her husband intently. He was intoxicated to the point of loosing the little self-control he possessed.

"Lena… I love you. I love you so much… You know that, right?" Tobias garbled as he wrapped his arms around his alarmed wife. He only said those words when he desired something more than consequential banter.

"No, Toby. Not tonight, the children are still awake anyways." Eileen scorned her husband as she walked away from him and stood at the dresser, getting ready for work as accustomed.

Tobias' face was suddenly contorted with uncalled for rage. He grabbed his wife's arm. He flung her around to face him. He placed one hand on either side of her, on the dresser. The dresser groaned under the added pressure of the man's weight.

Eileen caught her husband off guard, shoved him away, and then sprinted out the door of their room. She made her way down the steps of the two-story house. She grabbed her knee length coat and looked up at the stair well just to see an angry Tobias standing there waiting for a rationalization.

"Tobias, when I get home, I better not see hide nor hair of you, or trust me you will regret the day you were born." Eileen said, her voice dripping with contempt and loathing.

Eileen left a very angry and volatile Tobias looking after her. She would rue the day she insulted him.

Fuming, Tobias stormed back up the step to his room and poured himself another glass of whiskey. Soon enough he had gone through an entire bottle and passed out on his bed.

In the room across the hall, Severus laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to some muggle music his mother gave to him. It was a rather sad song about two people. They meet and fall in love. However, they are forced to end things. Eventually they end up back together.

Severus did not much mind Muggles, seeing, as his father was a Muggle. His father had married his mother under the pretenses that she was a Muggle. He had found out rather late, though, that she was a witch. He was outraged, but he soon forgave her, somewhat, if not completely.

Severus let his thoughts wander to a certain red headed Muggle born girl. She lived in the next town over. She and her sister, Petunia, came to the park sometimes. Lily was beautiful. She had bright green eyes and flaming red hair to rival the embers of hell.

Severus thought back to the first time he met her…

_Two girls were swinging backward and forward, and a skinny boy was watching them from behind a clump of bushes. His black hair was overlong and his clothes were so mismatched that it looked deliberate: too short jeans, a shabby, overlarge coat that might have belonged to a grown man, and an odd smock-like shirt._

_There was an undisguised greed in his eyes as he watched the younger of the two girls swinging higher and higher than her sister._

"_Lily, don't!" Shrieked the elder of the two._

_But the girl had let go of the swing at the very height of its arc and flown into the air, quite literally flown, launched herself skyward with a great shout of laughter, and instead of crumpling on the playground asphalt, she soared like a trapeze artist through the air, staying up far too long, landing far too lightly._

"_Mummy told you not to!"_

_Petunia stopped her swing by dragging the heels of her sandals on the ground, making a crunching, grinding sound, then leapt up, hands on her hips._

"_Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily!"_

"_But I'm fine," said Lily, still giggling. "Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do."_

_Petunia glanced around. The playground was deserted apart from themselves and, though the girls did not know it, Severus. Lily had picked up a fallen flower from the bush behind which Severus lurked. Petunia advanced, evidently torn between curiosity and disapproval. Lily waited until Petunia was near enough to have a clear view then held out her palm. The flower sat there, opening and closing its petals, like some bizarre, many-lipped oyster._

"_Stop it!" shrieked Petunia._

"_It's not hurting you," said Lily, but she closed her hand on the blossom and threw it back on the ground._

"_It's not right," said Petunia, but her eyes had followed the flower's flight to the ground and lingered upon it. "How do you do it?" she added, and there was definite longing in her voice._

"_It's obvious isn't it" Severus could no longer contain himself, but had jumped out from behind the bushes. Petunia shrieked and ran back toward the swings, but Lily, though clearly startled, remained where she was. Severus seemed to regret his appearance. A dull flush of color mounted his sallow cheeks as he looked at Lily. _

"_What's obvious?" asked Lily._

_Severus had an air of nervous excitement. With a glance at the distant Petunia, now hovering beside the swings, he lowered his voice and said, "I know what you are."_

"_What do you mean?" _

"_You're…you're a witch" whispered Severus._

_She looked affronted._

"_**That's**__ not a very nice thing to say to somebody!"_

_She turned, nose in the air, and marched off toward her sister._

"_No!" Said Severus. He was highly colored now; it was amazing that he did not cast his overlarge coat to the ground. Had it not been for the embarrassing smock beneath it he would have shed it. He flapped after the girls, looking ludicrously bat like. _

_The sisters considered him, united in disapproval, both holding on to one of the swing poles as thought it was the safe place in tag._

"_You __**are**__," said Severus to Lily. "You __**are**__ a witch. I have been watching you for a while. But there is nothing wrong with that. My mum's one and I am a wizard."_

_Petunia's laugh was like cold water._

"_Wizard!" she shrieked, her courage returned now that she had recovered from the shock of his unexpected appearance. "I know who you are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river." She told Lily, and it was evident from her tone that she considered the address a poor recommendation. "Why have you been spying on us?"_

"_Haven't been spying," said Severus, hot and uncomfortable and dirty haired in the bright sunlight. "Wouldn't spy on __**you**__ anyway," he added spitefully, "__**you're **__a Muggle."_

_Though Petunia evidently did not understand the word, she could hardly mistake the tone._

"_Lily, come on, we're leaving!" she said shrilly. Lily obeyed her sister at once, glaring at Severus as she left. He stood watching them as they marched through the playground gate. _

Severus realized that his little sister was standing in his room watching him. He broke away from his thoughts and smiled at her.

"Sev, do you think mummy is really going to make daddy leave?" Sapphira asked her brother.

"I'm not sure; she seemed really upset this time around though. Dad definitely crossed the line tonight." Severus told his little sister gently.

He spread his arms wide and Sapphira joined him on his bed. Sapphira sat between his legs and Severus clung to her. He really did love her. As much as a brother could. They were best friends, they never fought as normal brothers, and sisters often do.

After a while, Severus felt his sister's breathing soften and slow down. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to her room. He sat her gently on her bed.

Severus looked at the clock on his desk, it read 12:37 pm. He stripped from his clothing and lay down in his bed. He drifted off to sleep. He never remembered any of the good dreams. Only the bad ones. The ones about his father…The nightmares engulfed him once again as his slumber ensued.

Well people, there you go! I hope you liked it. I know it was a bit long but I needed to use J.K.R.'s conversation in there. You will understand as the story progresses! Please Review! Free cyber hugs and kisses to those that do. Oh and Cookies too.


	2. Letters, Tears, and Friends

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Some of the memories of Lily are borrowed from Deathly Hallows and are copyrighted to J.K.R. I do not own them and I do not make any money from them. I also do not live in a castle in Scotland. I did not invent the world of Harry Potter, though if J.K.R. had not I do not think anyone would have.

WARNING: There are scenes of abuse and self-mutilation in this story; mild language also. This is the reason for the M rating, along with other things that may occur in this story. I may or may not make this story into a series, given the length and the time it would take.

On with the story!

A Story of Abuse and Trust

By Grimreaperprincess666

Read and review

Last Time: After a while, Severus felt his sister's breathing soften and slow down. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to her room. He sat her gently on her bed.

Severus looked at the clock on his desk; it read 12:37 pm. He stripped from his clothing and lay down in his bed. He drifted off to sleep. He never remembered any of the good dreams. Only the bad ones. The ones about his father…The nightmares engulfed him once again as his slumber ensued.

Chapter Two: Letters, Tears, and Friends

Severus woke from a restive slumber as he heard a door crash shut. He looked over at his clock and gave an irritated groan as he read 4:58 am. He got out of his bed and pulled a pair of pajama pants on over his boxers.

"Mum…Dad…" Severus spoke just above a murmur, his voice still weighed down with sleep, as he walked out of his room and into the hall.

He received no answer. Severus walked to the steps and started down them. When he reached the bottom, he looked around vigilantly.

If you were standing where Severus was you would see nothing but books, a frayed sofa, an older armchair, and a rocky table grouped together in a puddle of muted light cast by a candle-filled lamp hung from the ceiling.

Severus walked down the last few steps and looked a little more closely. His mother sat on the floor near the boisterous fireplace. Her shoulders shook with torment. Severus rushed to his mother and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, trying to console her unsuccessfully.

"Mum…Please…It's going to be alright, I promise. Please just stop crying, you'll wake Sapphira up…" Severus begged as he choked back his own tears.

"Go back to bed Severus, please." She said as she gave him a watery smile.

"Mum…please just make him stop doing this to you." Severus mumbled as he wiped the watery tracks from his mother's soft, pale skin.

"You really are an extraordinary young man, Sev. I love you and your sister more than anything, you know that right?" She asked her face now drained of color; she looked like death warmed up.

"Mum…What's going to happen." Severus said as he helped his mother off the flagstone floor and onto the raggedy couch.

"I'm sorry I woke you." Eileen choked out as she sat on the weary couch and flourished her wand. A glass of warm amber liquid appeared in her hand.

"Nothing is going to happen, baby. I am sorry for scaring you. Go on back to bed now before Sapphira wakes up." Eileen muttered as her son kissed her on the cheek before heading back up to bed.

Severus pulled his blankets over himself as he settled back down on his bed. He could not help but think about a certain red headed girl. He was going to the park later in the morning. Maybe she would be there.

The next day found Severus rushing out the door, wearing too tight jeans and a loose-fitting black tee shirt. He could not wait to talk to Lily. He was optimistic she would be there.

Sure enough when Severus arrived under the large oak tree just outside the park, there she was. _She is so pretty_, Severus thought.

"Hello Severus. I had hoped you would come today. It's been almost a week since you came and I started to worry." Lily said as she beamed up at the boy in front of her.

"Sorry, I meant to come but…. Sapphira was ill." Severus lied to her, not for the first time mind you.

Soon enough they seated themselves cross-legged behind the bushes in the back of the park.

"Tell me more, Sev" Lily said more than asked as she lay down on her stomach in front of Severus.

"The ministry is ok I guess, unless you're bad. They can punish you if you do magic outside school, you get letters."

"But I _have_ don't magic outside school!"

"We're all right. We haven't got wands yet. They let you off when you're a kid and you can't help it. But once you're eleven," he nodded importantly, "and they start training you, then you've got to go careful."

Lily picked up a small twig and twirled it in her fingers, imagining it emitting sparks. She put the twig down and turned back to Severus, whom had been watching her with a small smile on his face.

"It _is_ real, isn't it?" It's not a joke?" Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It _is_ real, isn't it?"

"It's real for us," Severus said, "Not for her. But we'll get the letter, you and me."

"Really?" Lily whispered disbelievingly.

"Definitely," said Severus, and even with his poorly cut hair and odd clothes, he struck an oddly impressive figure sprawled in front of her, brimful of confidence in his destiny.

"Will it really come by owl?" Lily whispered.

"Normally," said Severus, "But you're Muggle-born, so someone from the school will have to come and explain to your parents."

"Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?" Lily asked shyly.

Severus hesitated. His black eyes, eager in greenish gloom, moved over her pale face and dark red hair.

"No," he said, "It doesn't make any difference."

"Good," Lily said, relaxing; it was quite clear she had been worrying.

"You've got loads of magic," Severus said proudly. "I saw that All the time I was watching you…"

They had both stretched out on the warm ground, now looking up at the canopy of leaves above them.

"How are things at your house?" Lily asked attentively.

A little crease appeared between his eyes.

"Fine," he stated simply

"They're not arguing anymore?"

"Oh yes, they're arguing," Severus said. He picked up a fistful of leaves and began tearing them apart, apparently unaware of what he was doing. "But it won't be that long and I'll be gone."

"Doesn't your dad like magic?"

"He doesn't like anything much," said Severus.

"Severus?"

A little smile twisted Severus' mouth when she said his name.

"Yeah?"

"Tell me about the dementors again."

"What d'you want to know about them for?"

"If I use magic outside school –"

"They wouldn't give you to the dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban, you're too—"

He turned red and started shredding more and more leaves.

Out of nowhere, Petunia Evans fall from behind a tree close by.

"Tuney!" said Lily, surprised and welcome in her voice, but Severus jumped to his feet.

"Who's spying now?" he shouted. "What d'you want?"

Petunia was breathless, alarmed at being caught. She looked as though she was struggling to find the right words to use.

"What's that you're wearing, anyway?" she said, pointing to Severus' chest. "Your mum's blouse?"

Before Severus could stop himself, he lost control of his magic and there was a loud crack. A branch hanging above Petunia's head had fallen. Lily screamed: The branch had caught Petunia's shoulder, and she staggered back a few steps and burst into tears.

"Tuney!"

But Petunia was running away. Lily rounded on Severus.

"Did you make that happen?"

"No." He looked defiant and scared.

"You did!" She was backing away from him. "You _did_! You hurt her!"

"No – No I didn't!"

But Lily wasn't convinced by yet another of Severus' lies. After one last scorning look at Severus, Lily ran from their little thicket, off after her sister, and Severus was left behind miserable and confused…

There you guys go!

I would like to thank every one who reviewed and I'm pretty sure I have (or will) replied to them all. If not THANK YOU!! Keep reading and keep reviewing! Lots of Love

Princess!! -


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